Playing Opossum

In a forgotten time, in a land far far away, there was a circle of friends, Albert, Barry, Dale, and The Wog. Now Barry, Albert, and Dale had jobs. The Wog did not, but he had a car. So in the a.m. The Wog would drop off Albert and Dale at work and then go spend the day at the beach. At about 3:00 he would head back to the valley and hit the grocery stores in the Sherman Oaks/Encino/Studio City area and pick up some steaks or sea food for dinner. You may be wondering how some one who didn't work could afford steak and sea food. As The Wog would say "nobody thinks that a man in a suit has four halibut fillets stuck in the back of his pants ", and apparently he was right. Every one is always suspicious of the guy in the tattered jeans with the backpack. At the end of the day The Wog would pick up Albert and Dale and they would head to Barry's for dinner and a daily dose of narcotics.

Eating out on the patio various food scraps would find their way into the garden.One night Barry was awoken by some noise, and when he looked down the hallway he saw the two green eyes close to floor level looking back at him. It seems as tho a opossum that was accustomed to finding food scraps in the garden made it into his house. So we, or I guess I should say they, set up a live trap and wound up catching three opossum. As people under the influence often think, they wondered how these animals would act under the spell of heroin and other pharmaceuticals. Now before you go getting all peta, take a bite of your tofu burger and read on. So over the course of a few days these "pets" were given demerol, xanax, perkaset, and the occasional blast of heroin. Now they were taken care of. They also had steak and potato's for dinner. But these guys were just as mellow and happy as can be. They would cling to the side of the cage with these odd little smiles on their faces.

The weekend rolled around and it was time to set them free. So they grabbed the cage and some dope and were bound for Placerita canyon, just north of L.A. They hiked to a good location up the river bed and set the three little opossum on their way. Of course at that time the conversation went on to how these opossum would relate with the others. Would the others notice a difference? Did they talk slow, and use strange words? Would their three tell the others of their far out experience? Do animals from the south and new england states talk with funny accents?

If only all these freakin animal whisperers were around back then. Would they realize that the opossum was calling them square daddio?