When Paris Hilton got out of jail she said she was going to head in a more philanthropic direction. So far I haven't seen her back that up. I do have a suggestion for her. Seeing as tho I am about to file for tax exempt status as a tax deductible charity organization, she could back my hotel business venture. My hotel is something that the industry and Beverly Hills has been lacking. I don't have a name for it yet, so any reasonable (after all I am the voice of reason) suggestions would be welcomed.
It is a real simple premise. The hotel has 13 floors. Each floor is the 13th floor, designated by the letters a-m. Each floor with the exception of M has 13 rooms. Floor M has 3 rooms, 10050, 3301, and 764. (google them). The regular suites will consist of a living, dining, and kitchen area. The bedroom is to be hidden behind a rotating bookcase that spins when the guest pulls the correct book from the shelf. I'm sure plenty of people will call down to the desk saying that there is no bedroom, or they cant find it. It is then the duty of the front desk staff to sarcastically say "Would you like us to send our bellman up to help you find it?" and then just hang up. When and if they do find the bedroom they will notice a cracked mirror on the ceiling over the bed . For safeties sake it will only be a decal on the mirror. The kitchen will be stocked with a full compliment of condiments and spices, only the salt shaker will be empty. Any guest calling down saying that their salt shaker is empty will hear "I know" and a click. As for the penthouse suites, they will be layed out in accord with the original addresses floor plans. Nothing will be made of wood. All doors, molding, furniture etc. will be made of composite materials so as to have nothing for people to knock on. A service charge will be added on to the tab of any guest that is heard to say bless you when some one sneezes. I may also have black cats roaming the property. After all Hollywood is crawling with rodents.
Before I tell you about the lounge I'd like for you to take a guess at what the name and theme of it might be. I have the feeling that some of you are thinking that I would call it The Ranch. Nice guess but far off. I would actually call it the Voodoo Lounge. It would not have a Caribbean or African theme to it, but instead would pay homage to the Rolling Stones. Dinner plates would be designed as lps, side plates as 45s, and daily specials would be served on picture discs. The bar stools would be drum stools, and the brass rail at the bar would be lined with bass drum pedals that would hit a foam rubber strip built into the base of the bar. The walls covered with Stones memorabilia, and live blues every nite. Stones dvds playing during the day. (I highly recommend "Ladies & Gentlemen the Rolling Stones" from their '72 tour. If you cant find it let me know and I'll see about burning you a copy)
If any of you are planning a trip to So. Cal. in a couple years you can find the hotel just off of Sunset at 1313 Mockingbird Lane. If you have problems trying to find the bedroom just sit down and read Helter Skelter and it will come to you.
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2 comments:
I am SO staying at that hotel.
not until the hiltons do their part. on the roof there will be a pool with a Brian Jones manquin sitting in one of the chairs. We all know that he was a strong swimmer. I dove into the pacific many times 3/4 tanked and came out normal. Brian was murdered. Do your research people.
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