truth IS stranger than fiction

This girl at work had her wisdom teeth removed a couple weeks ago and everything appeared to be fine, that is until she felt some discomfort and weird sensations by one of her sockets. Not being a doctor but having played one on tv, I offered to look into her mouth. My first suggestion was that she go rinse because she had a piece of spinach stuck to her gum. She came back and it was still there. Strange! Then I looked down at the side of her gum and noticed two little pinkish white things that looked like stitches poking out. She told me that on her follow up visit she had had any remaining stitches removed. I was stumped...but only for a while.

I remembered that she had eaten some strawberries a couple nites earlier. It hit me. She had a seed fall into her socket, get covered over by her gum, and sprout. "Impossible" she said. "Well, you can either call your doctor, or wait and find out that I'm right."

So her is what the doctor had to say; It is highly probable that you do have a plant growing in your gum. After all, all the elements that make up a human body can be found in the earth. In addition to that, a body only needs 15 minutes of sunlite to provide its daily need of vitamin D, anything more than that could be used in the photosynthesis process. We can either go back in to uproot the plant, or try swabbing it with weed-be-gone!

Weed-be-gone, is he nuts? At this point I have convinced her to let nature take its course. Most likely it would end up as a pygmy strawberry plant anyway. Also, I suggested she could sell her story to the Enquirer. The truth is, I said let it grow for selfish reasons. Who doesn't want a fresh strawberry every now and then? Plus, throw her a banana, some milk and ice cubes, and she can dispense a smoothie. What I am looking forward to the most is when she has a long row of strawberry plants curling around her body. I am already searching for a giant clam shell so as to take a Botticelli-esque Birth of Venus photo, plants snaking around to cover her strawberry patch. Then everything will be smooth like a rhapsody, when I take my master piece. Well, gotta go, gotta get to my hotel room where I got me a date with Botticelli niece.

Now that I think of it, it would be like having a life size Pez dispenser.