SEW WHAT

A couple weeks ago I walked into one of the offices at work and noticed that someones dry cleaning had been dropped off. I looked at the tag and discovered that the two pairs of pants belonged to our sales manager. Temptation abounded, and I finally settled on sewing one of his pant legs shut. So I put a few stitches down at the cuff and waited. The following a.m. he came in, picked up his pants and hit the road. My hope was that while he was out of town he would have one leg in the pants, go to put the other in, struggle, hopping about, and finishing with a crashing blow to the head on the dresser leaving him unconscious on the floor. Just a little gift for the house keeping crew. As it turned out, he did end up hopping around, but not falling over. The funniest thing however, is that he couldn't figure out why the cleaners would have done that!

All of this leads me to my sewing machine. Yes, I have one. Never used it and probably never will. I keep planning on selling it, but then I think that some day I will need it. Say for instance if I ever put into production my line of mens neckwear. Even then I would have some factory in China doing the work for me...or would I? What if I were to produce these ties myself after ingesting a few beers? Not only would I have unique designs (some of you already know what they are, but being trade secrets I cannot reveal them to the general public), but different style and cut. Mail one a week to Jay Leno or David Letterman and voila! a new fashion craze.

Who am I kidding? Anyone looking to buy a sewing machine?