Police Stories continued: Professor Peabody and the way Back Machine

Way back, way back, way back, so far I can't remember the year, maybe 1983. I had a fun filled run in with the Peewaukee WI police and Waukeshau county sheriffs dept. I was a day like any other day. Not much to do except go fishing, or at least try to. Bill Hokanen and myself headed out to Peewaukee lake for the sake of killing time, whiskey, and fish. We pulled up on a side street in a residential neighborhood. You wouldn't know it tho because the houses were so far back you couldn't see them. We parked, opened up the Yukon Jack, turn up the stereo and prepared for an afternoon of seeing life from an anglers perspective. Most likely from an angled perspective.

With one bottled killed we packed the other, grabbed our gear and started to head down to the lake. We were 3/4 ths across the street when Andy and Barney, Peewaukees finest pulled up.
"We had some complaints about you guys being a little loud" they said.
"Well as you can see we're on our way down to the lake so we wont be bothering anybody" I replied.
"Alright, good luck"
Case closed...so I thought.

Now Bill, despite being a good chess player, was both Finnish AND slightly off (and a wee bit drunk). Some how he gets into a "conversation" with Andy about how he's Jesse James, a wanted man. So to appease him Andy says he'll run his name. Man, I can't help but laugh. Warrants! He had a warrant for failure to appear after having been busted for trying to lift a frozen pizza.

(Side story. This is the same guy who, this is true, bear with me. One nite he, myself and John Letellier had been doing lines and smoking pot. We went to PDQ, a 7-11 type store to get something to eat, drink, smoke, or whatever. So we get up to the register to pay and all of a sudden Bill turns to us and says, now mind you, the guy behind the counter was in his 40's if not older, "Hey, who has the P,I,P,E?" spelling it out as if the old guy wouldn't catch on. We hit the floor.)

So Barney calls in the county sheriff to pick up Bill. Shortly after two cruisers pull up. At this point I'm starting to feel what ever it was I was feeling. Feeling rambunctious, boisterous, and ten feet tall, I decided to be legal counsel for Bill. I was warned to bite my tongue, sober up, and go home. Convinced it was a set up I ranted about how they were going to wait around the corner and nail me for DUI. They restated their case and drove off. I started yelling and gesticulating, kicking the gravel in my best Billy Martin impersonation. They came back.
"Paul, this is the last time. Sit here and sober up. If we have to come back you're going in.?"
They pulled away, reached the end of the block, and then the back up lights came on. "Forever hold your peace" just wasn't , isn't, a part of my vocabulary.

Cuffs are on and I'm in the back seat. Head all the way back looking skyward out of the rear window. Having been quiet for all of a minute, concern made its way from the front seat.
"Are you okay?"
"What the F--- do you care" I yelled at the top of my lungs inside of this enclosed car.

They took me to the Waukeshau County jail, a place I had delivered milk to many times before. I had to give them my shoes so that I wouldn't hang myself with my laces. Over what? a D&D! So they gave me these slipper/sandals, both left feet. I would only wear one while walking around with the other in my hand. My reasoning being that I didn't want my feet to become deformed. (when I was a child it took me forever to get my shoes on the right feet. my mom would tell me I'd be taken to a doctor to have my feet switched to the opposite legs.) Then came the finger printing and intake interview. That is just a series of questions about prior arrest, residency, employment, and health status. Now, the guy doing this was at least 60. At the end of the list of question was "Do you have any physical concerns that we should know about?"
"Don't let me get bent over 'cause I don't want to get aids."
The old man was writing it all down until he realized what I said. He crumpled up the paper and said "Let's get serious!" Buddy, I am!

So then they took me to my cell. On the way down the hallways of the always I was taken past Bills cell. The look on his face was worth a dollar seventy five. "Whats he doing here?". I just grinned and kept walking.

A couple hours later Molly Pootsie bailed me out. The next morning/afternoon I was sitting at the table having ham and rolls with my family. I made up a story about how Bills brother came by on a boat, we went out and landed a couple Muskies. I recall looking at my hands wondering how they had gotten so dirty. Ah! It hit me and I giggled to myself. Ink!

We didn't kill any fish, but two out of three ain't bad. Right Meatloaf?