ROOP SCOOP MANIA

Just got back to work today after a four day hiatus. About the only good thing about my job is that I can take long weekends pretty regularly. I usually take time off to go somewhere, do something, or just drink beer, but last week was different. The rodeo was in town! As soon as I learned of the dates I put in for time off. When I put in the request to my supervisor he asked why I wanted the time off.

"Well you see, I hate cowboys, and I don't want to be in a hotel full of Coors drinkin', skoal dippin', pointy boot wearin' hicks, walkin' around in wranglers that are two sizes too small with belt buckles that interfere with our satellite reception." I let him know (tho he already did) of my problem of controlling my tongue, well knowing that there was no way I could go four days without insulting a cowboy. Before heading out to stock up on beer, dark chocolate, laffy taffy, and holing up in my bunker I did leave these words of advice. "If any of them give you any problems look for that pinch between their cheek and gum. Thats the target."

Not sure when or where my dislike for cow pokers comes from. The furthest back I can remember was when I was living in OR. My friend Matt liked to go to this hick bar to play the poker machines. I'd sit at the bar and force down a couple Michelob darks. Yeah, that was the best they had. There would always be these tough acting fancy hat wearing fools. I would comment on how pretty the silver tips on their boots were. One would ask if I was trying to be funny. "No, I think its great the way they match your belt buckle, but whats your mama gonna do on thanks giving when she discovers her serving tray missing?" Well at about that point I have to look over my shoulder and ask Matt to watch my beer because these cowboys want to kick my ass. So this 6'4", 260 pound Indian says "Sure, I'll even get you a fresh one". Funny how the tables turn when the tables are turned.

Gives a whole new meaning to the term Cowboys and Indians. Not just a game for kids. One can only hope that they have enough munitions to do each other in. Now don't start whining!